I need to grow up

This band (Green Day, just in case you didn't know) have recently announced a UK tour in October.
I'm ecstatic. Seriously. I can't stop thinking about it. This band means so much to me it's actually quite sad. But the saddest thing is, I actually just thought, I care more about seeing Green Day live than my A levels. Okay. That is pathetic. I need to grow up, now.

Jess Grayson: Bookworm.

Went to the library today with my good friend Laura. I used to be a total bookworm, especially from about the age of ten to like, thirteen. Literally all I ever did was read books. It fizzled out a bit, and lately I've been so busy that I just didn't have the time. But! I am determined to start reading again, even if it's just to break apart from the *shudder* revision.

So I got seven books. They are:

Tuesday's Child by Louise Bagshawe;
Flawless by Sara Shepherd;
Doctor Who: Sting Of The Zygons by Stephen Cole;
Along Came Dylan by Stephen Foster;
Torchwood: Trace Memory, by David Llewellyn;
Anything Goes by John Barrowman (and Carole E. Barrowman)
Kathy's Story by Kathy O'Beirne

Yeeeaahhh, and I have until the 16th of May.

Oh sweet god, I'll have done two AS level exams by then. Kill me now.

- J xx

aspirations.

For a good few years now, I've wanted to be a writer. You know when someone asks you, "So, what do you want to do?" (usually with when you grow up on the end). I used to say, "I want to be a writer." And they'd usually go, "Oh, like an author?" and I'd shrug and say, "Maybe. Maybe in newspapers, maybe in magazines. Maybe books." Somewhere along the line, this became a serious aspiration to become a journalist. So when people asked, I'd say, "I want to be a journalist." And they'd go, "Oh! You want to be on the news?" and I'd shake my head and say, "I don't want to be on the news. I don't want people to see me. I want people to read my words." This changed to writing books, novels, and when they'd ask I'd say "novelist".

But I've come to realise I am not such a good writer. And it's weird. I wouldn't say I was a bad writer, as such. I can write. It's just that, sometimes, my words don't come out write. It's like permanent writer's block. I can never portray my thoughts in just the right way.

And so I'm faced with the question, How do I be a writer if I can't express my thoughts in words?

And the answer: I don't know.

news and such...

I'm going to T4 On The Beach! With two of my best friends, Katy and Daniella. I can't wait, haha. Pop music ftw.
It's 197 miles from Sheffield to Weston-Super-Mare.
This is how we'd get there by car. But we're going by train, because none of us have a car, haha. We want to get there by about 9am, as my friend's told us that we need to get there early (it starts at 11am), so we'll most likely be getting a train around 5:30/6:00am. That'll be fun...

:) I just hope Panic or Green Day don't announce tour dates soon, because I'll have absolutely no money to pay for it.

- J xx

heart eyes.

D'you ever just see a picture and it makes you so happy?

wherein Jess tells you about her iPod specifics.

I need more videos for my iPod. I mean, I have quite a few, don't get me wrong. But I need more. What is on my iPod, video-wise, I hear you ask? Weeeelll. I have the whole of Casanova, the one starrring David Tennant and Peter O'Toole. I love it. It makes me cry at the end, though, and nobody understands why, which I personally think is a bit weird. But anyway. Urm.. I also have Russell Howard, Andy Parsons, Dara O'Briain, Frankie Boyle and Michael McIntyre, Live at the Apollo, as well as Mock The Week snippets. Also, I have a fair dose of Littleradge's videos (have you heard of him? He's awesome, seriously). Oh! And Evolution of Dance (and its sequel) and like two or three Matthew Lush videos. I don't particularly care about him anymore. I might delete them. There's also some John Paul/Craig stuff (Hollyoaks), some random Doctor Who stuff, not actually episodes, unfortunately. And the rest is like, Panic videos. Mostly interviews and fanvids. Oh, and I have them live at Glastonbury, mostly because of The [Cheek] Kiss, but still. Yeahhhh.

What's on YOUR iPod?

I need more followers. I mean I know everybody wants more followers. But I actually do need more because I feel ridic just asking questions when like the only person who might respond is Lem (who is an awesome follower to have, nonetheless).

Peace.

- J xx

Guess which foot is mine.

today, April 8th 2009.

What does today have in store for me? Weeell, I'm not going out, which means I will most likely spend my time on the computer and/or watching TV. But I do need to do some revision, apparently, so I might do some of that too. I'm thinking of doign a little English Language revision. Hmm. Anyway, here's a picture that makes me happy.TOUR NOW PLEASE.
- J xx

'you should never meet your heroes'

okay, do you agree with this? (I'll ignore the fact that this question probably does not address anybody.)


I mean the obvious pros and cons for meeting your heroes are:




pros


you've met someone that you idolise, obviously


you may be so incredibly happy that you will talk about it for years and nothing will ever compare to it


they will be amazing



cons

they'll be dickhead(s)

you'll be crushed, due to previous statement


you will never idolise anyone again, ever

you may well have spent many weeks to years idolising someone who is a complete and utter douche














I personally think it's worth the chance. I mean, if you meet your hero, and he/she/they is/are a horrible person, at the end of the day, they are only human. We all have bad days. Also they're probably a celebrity. So they can be.




I half-met one of my heroes.


That is the worst thing ever, okay, and you may argue, isn't it better that you sort of met them than having never even been close, and I guess, in some ways, maybe.



I remember it so well.









I am sitting on the steps outside Leeds University Refectory, in between my two best friends. We're all sweaty. I am wearing pink jeans, my new flowery boot things, and a homemade t-shirt that was from Primark, white, and has writing on it. In my hands, I hold a poster, and a floppy hat with writing on it.


By chance, I look back, behind me, into the refectory. I see a green coat.



Quickly, my brain registers the coat to its owner. I reach a conclusion. Turning back around, my heart feels like it is beating in slow motion.



"Oh my God," is all I can say. Michaela asks, "What?".



There are two gothic girls sat in a corner. They stand, looking awed. A group of people a little older than us start to come closer.



They're right there. Brendon, Jon, Ryan and Spencer.



I, of course, freak out. Not loudly. I didn't scream (thank God) but mentally, I shut down. I stare at them as if they're not really there. My hands shake. They stand, talking with the group, take a photo. They look at us (we are still sat down) and I have eye contact with Ryan Ross.



Eventually the others start to ask for photos and stuff. Lauren drags me over to Ryan (I do love the other guys, I do, but Ryan is just... soemthing else) and asks him for a photo. Ryan glances at us and says, "sure". I literally feel my heart jump, and I feel so sick, and I can't speak.



Then all at once people are pushing in front and Zack is calling, saying that this has to be the last photo. They have to get on the bus.



I know this is it. I'm not getting a photo.



So I reach out, sideways on, and rest my hand on Ryan's, which is on the shoulder of some girl.



I can still feel it. Seriously, I am not kidding, or exaggerating, I can still remember how it felt.



They got back on the bus. Someone had stolen my poster. Michaela was freaking out 'cause her mum had to pick her up but she couldn't find us and they were arguing.



I practiaclly fell on Lauren, crying my heart out.





I did not mean to write about this. But anyway yeah.



Meeting heroes: good/bad?



- J xx

Love at first write...

Okay, that was cheesy, ouch.

Hello. I am a blog. I was originally going to be called fabledforeigntongues, but someone already got there. Damn it.

You may see a pattern emerging...

This is either a) gonna be sometihng I ignore, b) something I write in constantly and nobody reads, or c) a huge hit. C, anyone?

- J xx (not to be confused with Jesus, or Jon Walker)

ps this is a picture of me, taken 14 days ago (I think) on my seventeenth birthday. I am now, young and sweet.